I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
