i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
