New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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