idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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