We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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