my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
