I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
