yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
