His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
