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Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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