Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
