we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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