Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Two words: blizzard sex
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
