the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
