well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
