Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
