Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
