I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
