we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
