Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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