he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
