did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
