I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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