Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i barfeds in our rink
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize