you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize