And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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