he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
