How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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