I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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