I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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