So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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