So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
