are you still at the devil's house?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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