just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
