Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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