I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
