D3 body, D1 cock
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
