She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
