Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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