The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
