i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
