I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
