She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shit smells like andre
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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