I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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