Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
