we're chasing vodka with high fives
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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