M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize