he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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