You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
