Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
