I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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