We're facebook friends in real life
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.