I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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