I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now