She's JV to your varsity
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.