yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
