My hair reeks of homosexuality.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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