It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
