I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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