Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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