it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
