Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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