all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
