you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
